Well shit, there goes my face, reaching
it’s own
point, resembling
a big gay
old in Time: I
theory[ed]
theories
theorizing
apparently nothing much
matters
& now, I can’t bare
to listen
to how loud my
enemy’s
miseries have grown
so beautifully
that I cannot bare
to not just sit
here with my
shiteating
grin, gracing my elegant
chin, as if
to lose, all these
years
of worthless
studying
& in my mind I’m
absolutely
beautiful & awful
how this
thought hurts
in such gutting
ways of examining
our time
booger, is
a shittysort of
Time to laugh
together
all caught up
in each
other’s hair
becomes
a sudden map of
all my dirty
birdy
desires
playing around, reminds
me: “you look
so good when
you are on your
knees”
looking up
at me
so tender—[ily]
with such a wet
pie
down
there I go falling
down
again, draping
myself
along the West
Coast
where, I’ll never
fucking
return to who
I was
in my young
head
constraints what
good
I have left in this
shitty
equation of the self
smooths
across the crusted
mouth
can only hold
so many
before I’ll shit it
all out &
be left on my knees
gathering all those
veins & faces
under the
hard-pressed concerns:
“I had just
wanted to makes
my face
fog”
was
what I imagine, sometimes
is best left out
of understanding &just
dancing
together forming
an ill-fitting
choir was my
Voice
holding all the prayers
for what we
failured
in Youth : everything
was a pleasure
to scoop
as they say “in
the beginning
I was a butter
with
the nerves”of some
who end but
we won’t think about
that
now will we
baby—[?]
well (or
not) by
now
we
are
not
so well
when
pushed out the
hospital
of our days glare
back
so hostile so
to reboot
as nobody
showed
for our
show:
how fat we felt
every time
we took another inside &
Love, is
a risk
just not
worth
taking
stop
those pigeons in my
Heart
needs fixing so
badly
I wish, for something
familiar is
not
an option, I suppose
this is when
everyone I ever
loved
begins to flood
right back
into a parable of
which
reading the last
sentence
you realize there
were so few
so
you
knew the never
more would
never stop having
to Haunt
you’re less now, such
a mess which
takes
your
fucking
breath
away
