I.
I used to live with a bunch of women.
We used to have problems with the tub getting clogged. They mostly had long hair, and long hair tends to leave the head while taking a shower. We were all 18 or so, so we didn’t quite think about our hair falling out all the time.
But that’s what hair does: it falls out of your head and gets stuck in the drain.
Being the guy in the house, I didn’t think it was my responsibility to unclog the shower. That was the women’s work.
I would take showers standing in week-standing water and wash my feet later in the sink just on principle.
After weeks of this, I decided to do the traditional male thing to do in a shower/tub combo and take a piss. This piss collected amongst the other fluids and follicles and whatnots. It stunk up the bathroom even more than usual.
This, apparently, was going too far. I was surprised anyone noticed.
I was slapped with a fuckyou,youasshole badge and lots of huffs at dinnertime.
I wasn’t interested in eating tofu that night anyway. I wanted a steak.
Eventually someone called the landlord and asked for someone who we pay someone for something we pay for something someone to do.
They did it, like the whore we thought we were better than.
II.
My tub/shower combo recently became clogged.
I had been growing my hair out for the past year and a half or so, and I’m a hairy guy to begin with.
And getting on in the years, the hair isn’t staying in place as much as it used to.
I admit this.
I spent a good twenty minutes trying to find a way to clear the drain, to find out where the clog was. But there didn’t even seem to be a clog, not one that I could surmise.
Today I stood in standing water and washed my face and balls with soap and water that collected at my feet.
Tomorrow I’m calling the landlord.
