For Sara
Introduction
When I was 21, I thought it was high time to start a band.
My friend, Sara, had recently bought a Casio keyboard, had a good Mac computer, and more experience using it than I did at the time, and was game.
We went to a North Side Chicago shop to buy some cheap as fuck guitars and amps the size of mittens. We didn’t know how to play guitars, but given we weren’t too crazy, and pop songs only use 3 or 4 chords to begin with, open tuning worked fine for us.
I would write songs by day, while sitting in the Chicago Art Institute coat check, go home and flesh them out, and then go over to Sara’s apartment to test them out and lay down some basic recordings.
The microphone we used was a thumb-sized plastic thing bought from RadioShack.
We were easily amused. We had fun.
This is what was our 1st album.
We were Audrey. And in our minds we were at your door.
Tracklist
I’m There
This was our first song. I was going for a Field Mice songwriting style, but that only went so far. As far as a minute and a half.
Sara was on guitar. I was on keys. The drums were all Casio. When we had our first and only concert, this song was described as ‘tent revival’. I liked that, always have.
You Are
We played around with the keyboards multi-tracking abilities. I wanted this to seem like it was a jazz club, preferably the Green Mill.
Sara sang with a basic intimacy that still gets to me today.
Song-wise, I was going for a combined distant honesty type thing.
It was based on a sentiment I had expressed while dating my ex-teacher from Columbia.
This one’s for you, Drew.
My Drug
Our version of the Ramones.
I had just started dating another co-worker, seemingly going through the list of potentials at the AIC.
He had a tattoo of a dragonfly. His name was Marcus.
I had been resistant to his advances for a long time, and then when giving in, gave in hard.
Casio, again, provided a basic beat. Sara was getting better on the guitar.
I hadn’t yet tried cocaine, pills, the things that I would have done later and regretted.
I was easily amused.
But Darlin’
I always loved Sara’s laugh.
And here, Sara is going for Southern Trash while I was British Top Drawer.
It’s a joke song, but still kinda cute to me.
I was referencing my first and only experience with crabs. And not the dungeness kind.
Cocktails For Two
This is just youthful folly.
I never drank vodka and Mountain Dew. Not even living in a dorm.
The idea for this was to have the same chord-progression as a later track (History of Loneliness). I was hoping for a conceptual thing there.
Dragonfly
Marcus, the dragonfly, had made it increasingly more obvious to me that we were through. Sara and I thought, briefly, a song could be useful.
While the song is utterly embarrassing to me now, that’s being 21.
I never gave it to him. And I’m glad I didn’t all the same.
Sailor Boy
The Art Institute was a popular destination for sailors it seemed.
Sara had had some interactions with one, who she had a ridiculous crush on.
In our discussions with him, he told us how a sailor hat can be used as a floatation device.
I was in love with that detail from the get-go.
Sara obsessed. I thought we could do a cute little number instead.
Treehouse Boy
This is something I like the most out of these.
Sara does lovely things with phrasing, and tone, to me.
We were all sleeping on the floor back then. It was the hip thing to do for artists such as us.
Matthew Says
Piano Rock!
(the Casio beat style)
An attempt in the long line of “Somebody Says” wave. I have to say it’s kinda catchy.
This song feels explicitly Chicago to me, in the way Chicago feels suburban to me.
Matthew was a guy I adored when I was 20. He gave me gonorrhea.
History of Loneliness
I remember writing this from the checkroom at the AIC. There was a large amount of light coming in through the revolving doors.
I was going for a full on torch song musical thing.
I wanted to give Sara a Liza Minnelli moment.
I think she did just fine.
The Mess Inside
A description of my apartment and life circa 2000.
I was trying to find a way to combine internal/external states.
But they are always the same anyway.
This Song’s For Marcus (As He Walks Out The Door)
He was in every song.
Sara wails on the harmonicas I bought.
These lyrics are a bit painfully obvious. But that was always the intention behind this stuff to begin with.
It’s pop, anyway.
And anyway, I was feeling happy nonetheless.
Things Fall Down
I wrote this a few months before 9/11 and regret any association with that that came about later.
It’s a song. And things always fall down.
Sunday Morning
Every album I was listening to at the time needed a good morning finale.
This was mine.
Summary
I like to think that we had fun here.
And you know, I know we did.
I love ya Sara. And hope that you are well.
