Monday, September 29, 2014

I Am Not a Nice Man







I hate who I am.

I once tipped a cow in Iowa, only later to eat it, feeling that I had made that girl feel infinitely lesser-than, something that was just to be a jest of a hollow joke, something that I forever felt a fever over and throwing up, afterwards, like something just to clean up, afterwards.

I once held Jen, behind the pool table.

I once told a friend that the best thing she could do was to be the worst woman she could be. I told her that sleeping with the dude that would eventually knock her up and leave her without even a goodbye, leaving me to pay for the abortion, that that would be the best thing to do, given her career aspirations & options.

I once told someone I loved that I loved them.