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While at
the airport, I checked my bags, keeping a sticker on my ticket that I was
supposed to compare to my luggage proper.
_____
Once in
my seat, on the plane, I stuck the ticket in the pocket in front of me and
never thought of it again, especially while watching the free nonsense romantic
comedy that played in front of me, in front of us all, whether we liked it or
not.
______
I fell
asleep, realizing I had not had the proper night’s sleep that I had dreamt I
had. It was not a long nap, but long enough to have a dream that woke me up in
a frigid fright.
______
In my
dream I had just gone to the doctor for my annual check-up, had some blood
drawn, and was told by my physician that I had contracted a strain of a
particular virus that had recently been discovered. I could tell that he was
unerringly nervous during his attempted description of the disease, one that
had no known cure, only a host of experimental drug treatments that were
normally used for other ailments, but have, in some studies, shown to be
effective, at least in part, for the most major of symptoms.
______
He told
me, his hands shaking in writing the prescriptions, causing his handwriting to
be even more illegible than normal, that I should not wait to fill them, that I
should begin taking the full regimen, not once missing a dose; he told me that
I would experience a host of unpleasant side-effects, which would include
nausea, insomnia, rectal bleeding, potential loss of feeling in my extremities,
the possibility of blindness, hair loss, and, in the extreme, death.
______
He told
me the possibility of these side-effects would still be better than what would
happen if the virus took a full hold on my body, which, in his words, would
equate to medieval torture on Inquisition-scaled heights.
______
Upon
returning from the pharmacy, I discovered I was now in possession of some 600
pills of varying sizes. I had capsules, tabs, suppositories; horse-pills that I
knew would be difficult for my already tightening throat muscles. And this was
simply a one-month supply.
_____
Sitting
down at my kitchen table with a tall glass of water and the first of the daily
20 pill new routine, I wondered if it would, indeed, be worth it to live like
this now, if living was what I was actually being presented with.
______
On the
plane, my neighbor had nudged me for me to move so he could go to the bathroom,
and I awoke with a shudder that made me want to punch him for touching me. I
was in a cold sweat, and nearly had to dampen my sleeve wholesale to not look a
nervous fright to my co-travelers and stewardesses.
_____
When my
neighbor returned, he apologized for giving me a startle:
______
“You
aren’t a fan of flying, are you?”
______
I gave
him a weak smile, putting on a pair of headphones that were not attached to
anything of use, but he got the hint and left me alone for the remainder of the
flight.
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