Rosanne's Ass Accident

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To:

Roseanne Barr

Claims Adjuster

Chicago *Ass Association

P.O. Box 90210

Chicago, IL 60640

Re:

Arnold, Tomasina T, Ms.

Claim # 00-A12345-6

Date of Injury/Onset: October 18, 2006

Dear Ms. Barr,

On August 20, 2007, Ms. Tomasina T. Arnold presented herself for an initial

examination and evaluation of her complaints arising from your *Ass

accident that she was involved in on October 18, 2006.

Accident Description:

1. Ms. Arnold stated that she was the *Ass which was stopped in traffic.

2. According to the patient, the other *Ass involved was traveling at approximately 45-50 m.p.h.

3. She stated that the other *Ass struck her *Ass in the rear end.

4. Ms. Arnold also reported that, at the time of the accident, the road conditions were clean & dry. In addition, she stated the damage to her *Ass was moderate.

5. The estimated damage to her *Ass was $1,500.00.

6. The other *Ass was fucking totaled.

7. She also stated that she did not see the fucking other *Ass coming, & therefore was not braced for the impact.

8. Also, she was wearing her shoulder harness on. On impact, the *Ass Bag did not deploy.

9. Her *Ass was equipped with headrests, her own headrest being even with the top of her *Ass at the time of the accident.

10. She also noted that she had her *Ass in the Head Rest, facing straight forward at the moment of impact. She stated that she did not lose consciousness during the accident.

Patient’s Statement:

"As I was waiting to merge onto You, there were Witnesses walking across the street. I was about the 5th or 6^th stopped *Ass in line waiting for the pedestrians to cross. My *Ass was at a complete stop on Lawrence Ave. when I was rear-ended by an *Ass traveling as fast as 45mph or 50mph. She hit me so fucking hard that my *Ass moved forward at least one *Ass-length maybe more—[!] Luckily the other *Ass had moved on so I didn’t hit any of them other *Asses.

My back of her *Ass was shoved right-up my *Ass so far that the rear-view of our conjoined *Ass was beyond comprehension.

The front end of the other *Ass was a fucking accordion—[!] Seriously—[!]

Man, her *Ass was so fucking totalled & towed from the scene. She never hit her brakes.

My *Ass was whip-lashed pretty fucking badly.”

“When I was hit I believe I went into a state of fucking shock because I could not feel any immediate pain. After the police officer took the information they needed (which took about an hour), & I started to bounce away, I started to feel a lot of fucking *Ass-pain

My *Ass was very stiff—[!] My *Ass hurt the fuck-all Over—[!]

I was in a lot of pain throughout my body. It was very hard for me to sleep at night or move my *Ass during the day & this has continued ever since the accident.”