Thursday, June 19, 2014

SCARE v.2









The “fact” that I have to put “scare quotes” around much of my “vocabulary” that I “use” in “situations” that are not “relevant” to my current “situation” makes me feel extremely

“uncomfortable”.

And that’s all “I” have to say on the subject.







Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Story





I’m not here
to tell a
story.
            No. I’m not here
for this, nor for that, but this:

The standard oil building,
the holy grail, the under
and under
                    as she went
never to be told of again.

Or, again, in only whispered
tones; thinking and drinking
by ones self; down the stairs
and through the doors, always

telling stories, 
                        still moving.  





Sunday, June 15, 2014

Time (Naked)




notes before, and after, a shower



I never look at my watch, to tell the time at least. And yet I'm always at a loss when it's off my wrist.

For the lack of an option for time keeping, perhaps; perhaps, more so, for the loss of a comfort that I normally experience day to day,

having lost something by which I can categorize my life, in hours, in minutes. 

Something I can count on. 








Saturday, June 14, 2014

CONVERSATION 24 (The Good Laugh)





a play in five acts




Scene:  A perfect panopticon.
Actors:  Whomever.


ACT I


- First, a dollar.

- Then, another.

- Then another and another.

- And so on.

- Yes.

- And so on.

- What we weren’t used to was what followed.

- The building, the not-budging…

- …the catering, oh god, the catering…

- Yes, the catering. That was just awful.

- And so sourced in its source.

- Like the rats in the earth. Are there still rats in the earth?

- Like none before. Believed in and blessed.

- Yes.

- Only on the surface do we presume the edible. Below, we know what is eating.

- Below, the eating is better.

- Better because?

- Better because they’re eating.

- Eating is one of the things people do.

- When they’re not not eating. When, then, they’re a wonderful whelp.

- By whose standards?

- By the one that makes the lamp go out.

- Ah, yes. The Overseer. The Forgiver and the For-got.

- Always gotten, always gained.




ACT II


- An old piece of cattle. Our Vietnamese noodle people.

- Our halts in the corner, whispering for a light.

- Yes, and the light, no mistaking about it.

- It shines on. On and on.

- On us all.

- On others more than others. Others stay in the dark.

- But only because of blindness.

- Not only.

- Not only, but not not.

- A almost light.

- Curbed by cubed wisdom.

- More silence, more daughters to ignore.

- More blight. More responsibility for that blight further more brought upon the self like a bright light of forgetting in the light and always forgetting.

- Forgetting the day.

- It’s Tuesday. The day after Monday.

- It was Monday then.

- Yes, Monday. The day we all stood up and took a breath and walked outside into the sun and air and took a walk along the water.

- A walk that always led us back.

- Yes. Always back to what we knew before.

- Knowing only.

- Knowing only a little bit more.

- And then Tuesday.

- Yes, Tuesday.

- The day after Monday. Tuesday.




ACT III


- Yes, Tuesday. The day after Monday.

- And on Wednesday they’ll be watching us.

- Watching like on Monday. And Tuesday, too.

- Yes. And Wednesday we’ll be watching, too.

- Watching like watching on TV.

- Terribly bored and entertained.

- What will the will of base of the speech of it be?

- It all depends on the lack of grounds. On the lack of firm yard grounds and deposits.

- Like trees disappeared into floods of flies.

- Only more dying because of. A fruit fly, only instead. Is it a fruit fly? Is it a roaming sucker of practicality and sweetness?

- It is a leper on the tip of the touch of the virus of it, all things considered.

- So, yes. A fruit fly.

- In a manner of speaking.

- In a manner of speaking, let’s speak of the years together later.

- In the years together later we sat and spoke about the years together earlier. We spoke of the time where time was a time and the time got worse and better and worse how strange. How strange. We spoke of the strange distinctly. And yet had no words for that distinction, only thoughts through feelings through touch and such.

-  Yes. We spoke of that too. And, too, we spoke of poor old sluts that loved us while we were furiously working behind the behind and beginning on bar number 27 the stretching the stretching the stretching apart. Just lie back now and relax.

- Just lie back now and relax.

-  Relax to the trilling, to the treble of a soprano brush comb. To the fact that I knew she was looking, was listening, to every damned thing I said. Relax to the laugh that sets you uneasily on edge – only to relent to the joy of it once it relaxed itself. Relax to the future of this – all play – and relax to something of a kind of peace, always present, yet always so looking to go away.

- Present how? Now?

- Present like the wish to kill a child simply because you tired of taking care of it after awhile.

- And how relaxed, said?

- As said, relaxed as a reflex; relax as a barrier to the barren waste-side of life beside the water; relax as a small quiet chat (chest beating); relax like a close of the eyes and the stammering of the feet held to feel quiet and quiet ruckus, alone, in the maddening thing that is the quiet, that is the noise of the quiet, that is the quiet of the quiet of the noise it is nothing.

- Relax. That is the thought that comes on a Saturday.

- Yes. It’s Wednesday still.




ACT IV


- It’s a problem

- It’s a problem without solving. Nor worth solving, really.

- It’s still a problem.

- I want to slapdash your symmetry, to coordinate your insubordinate conditionals.

- You want to fuck me in the backcloth.

- Yes. That as well.

- Well if I pour myself onto the backwall, again and again, they’d still be watching, taking notes, and noting how unfit each of us were for the wearing of such paltry clothes.

- They would think better of ash.

- Of ash. Or of sand – sand being the better because it’s less of a dead thing, never being alive in the first place.

- Lacramose as they always were.

- Only the shade, the shake, only sorry for her.

- I walk with her now, down along the waterfront. We speak and stop and hunger and look at a duck. What do you get out of it? A laugh? A humor, humored only in hunger and duck eggs…

- I would never say this on the record.

- On the record, I would only look at the water, nothing above nor below. Just the water, itself, always moving.

- Yes. Always moving.

- That was back when I was high on gas. May I offer you a get in?

- A get in to what?

- Just that. A get in.

- As a substitute for a little light?

- No. Not as a substitute. Just as a get.

- A get what?

- A get, a get in, a get in the end of the end of the get of it all.

- I see. A get.

- Yes. A get as a get all solid soon.




ACT V


-  Today.

- Today, Thursday.

- The day before Friday. The day before before the weekend.

- We’ll spend it splendidly.

- Or tired, only splendidly disposed.

- And wake, in horror or splendor, always depending on today.

- Yes, always depending.

- We’ll let them watch. We’ll let them learn what they want to learn and learn by fits and starts and love and lack thereof.

- Is that it?

- Mother says so.

- No more words, only words. Only feeling as such in words in the mind.

- Yes. This is Thursday, and we handle so much love to give it comes suffered to come.

- Did mother say so?

- Only on the backs of other births ultimately betrothed to death, like pearls around a wrinkled neck.

- Only mother knows.

- I’m taking that as a silence.

- As you could. I would take it as a silence, further.

- So, silence?

- Yes. Silence.

- Knock, knock.

- Who’s there?

- Who’s there who.

- Who’s there who who?

- Who’s there who who is who is there, now and forever. And you should know who (you’ve always been watching) the who of the what of the who of it all.







FIN